Jeezum crow, I am gettin’ old. Every teen I see just looks like Biebsy Whasisname, and I don’t understand the music or the flip-flop or the sockhop dances that all the kids are goin’ terrrr oooooh boy howdy.

I am gettin’ old. I sympathize with you, Beardo. I sympathize.

Also, maybe I should stop watching Beach Party movies from the 60s. A hunch! Only a hunch, a hunch. What do you think, 1963 Vincent Price?

If you're calling about the missing feet, leave your address, and the replacement feet will be rushed to you by my grandson Jody.