I know it’s easy to poke fun at someone for justifying the existence of something as unbelievable (in the literal sense) as God with something as simple as, like, the freaking tides. But if you really think about it, wouldn’t it be nice if we all had a stalker in the clouds, fretting about the sort of shit we said before shoving down our food?
Ehh, what am I saying. Dude created the moon! America’s moon. Who doesn’t love the moon?
God gets giddy about a great sandwich, I think you may be right. This is funny.
How many people are eating delicious sandwiches right now, probably at least 1 billion people, so God must be pretty damn giddy right now.
And come to think of it, who could ever read God’s 1 billion status updates about each status? He’s probably the only one who could read his own status updates; how lonely God must be.
I hate the moon. Gorram werewolves.
God has lots of followers, but they can’t see His status updates because that would be definitive proof of His existence, proof denies faith, Oolon Colluphid, babelfish, Douglas Adams, do I have to finish all my references are are we all on the same page?
Please. God would not use a mac. God uses linux. Follow my logic:
I use linux. By the “my shit is stuff and your stuff is shit” principle, linux is therefore superior to apple shit. Since God is superior to everybody, he must use the superior operating system, which was just proven to be linux.
God would smite that laptop.