Looks like our friend Dick “Richard” Johnson has some more advice for the holidays! He’s so insightful.

And hey look, I found some more of his notes lying around:

-You don’t want to be the only person at midnight on New Years without someone to kiss. Bring some rope and claim someone early on in the night.

-Don’t exclude anyone because of their religion! Except for whoever celebrates that weird fake Christmas with the candles, what the hell is that.

-Beat that holiday traffic: Estrange yourself from your family so you don’t have to drive anywhere. PRO TIP: Be creative! Set something on fire at your brother’s wedding.